eyes like a showroom

In a moment of weakness...

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 23:58:37 GMT

It's been almost a year since I did anything more than stalk other people through this journal. But this summer, and it's not over yet, contains so many experiences I'm afraid I will forget some of them if I don't write them down.

Since my last real post, I have been to Rolex again. And this time I volunteered and got so see some of the competitors up close. It was like...a horse show. Which sounds like an obvious statement, but I guess I had built it up in my mind to something completely separate from the realm of the 'normal'. This disillusionment was actually a very good thing, because now I feel like my goals are more attainable than ever.

And at the same time I have a greater understanding of my own skills and just how lacking they are. Everything I have needs work, and I don't even have everything yet. But I have an amazing job and if I can keep it, I think I still have a chance.

That said, I work a lot. I was expecting to have a couple of part-time jobs, but it's turned into one full-time and one part. I work 11 or 12 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week. I'm tired and cranky and dirty at the end of the day, but for some reason I keep getting up in the morning to do it all over again. I am hoping this is a good sign.

Blogging loses its charm pretty fast, so I'll make a list.
I have been:
Ditched
Kicked
Towed
Pulled over
Summoned
Fined
Decked
Stepped on
Yelled at

I have also been:
Complimented in a big way
Taught
Helped
Given confidence
Hugged
Pushed to get better
Paid
Forgiven

and I saw Radiohead in St. Louis.

Unbelievable

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 19:33:17 GMT

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21455714/

Wed, 02 May 2007 04:37:48 GMT

I feel like I just started college and freshman year is almost over. One last final tomorrow, then I pack up my things and leave on Thursday. I will only be home for a few days, then I go to my new job at a training barn in Indiana. It will be exciting and terrifying, exhausting and amazing..and I am going to be so freaking buff.
And almost topping the clinic last semester was the Rolex 3-Day event. This is what I want for the rest of my life:

Edit: 20 hours fall semester. Please let the new cross country instructor be good.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 17:05:53 GMT

I sound like a man and I'm pretty sure I'm dying. But I must resist until Saturday! I'll be damned if I miss David O'Connor because of a cold.
More tea is required.

For my birthday...

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:28:47 GMT

ow..

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 16:15:43 GMT

I think the novelty is beginning to wear off and now I miss home, my cat probably moreso than my parents. And boys. Just in general. Because there are a total of five here. Estrogen much?
Also, I have turned into a neat freak and a morning person. Maybe it's the the freaking SUN that shines its ass through my window every goddamn morning at 6:30.
On the bright side, I am bored to tears in my statistics class. Thanks IB?

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 22:13:17 GMT

Advanced Hunt Seat--MW
Equine Management--MWF
Theory of Huntseat--TBA
Stephens Success--MW
Honors Composition--TR
Honors Lit--TR
Intro Statistics--MWF

17 credits

And I am surounded by people with the same interests and who know what I mean when I start talking about horsey things--this is amazing.

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 00:48:06 GMT

I. am. here!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Equestrian placement assessments are tomorrow morning and I am extremely nervous.

But now I have to finish unpacking..

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 06:29:51 GMT

August 19th I am GONE.
As in...moving out. wow!

I have been looking forward to this for months, but now that it's almost here I want to dig a little hole and hide away in it for a little while longer.
And it's dawning on me as I try to pack; I'm not staying there overnight. I have to bring more than my toothbrush. I'm picking up my life and moving it elsewhere--jesus I have a lot of crap. I was in target the other day buying everything that I use but never really thought about having because it was always there. It made me want to simplify and live with less. Apparently living is difficult without shampoo and cotton balls and a lamp for my desk. And then two weeks after I move in the horse has to move in. And with her a whole new set of crap that I wish I didn't need.

On the bright side--I get to quit my job!

I'm late with this, but what else is new?

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 15:33:47 GMT

Scores:

HL English 6
HL Chem 4 (pass!!)
HL Philosophy 5
HL History 4
SL German 5
SL Math Studies 7
ToK B
EE C

Diploma Awarded, Bitches.

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 22:07:12 GMT

philosophy final essay?
eff that.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 16:07:06 GMT

I have spent this entire weekend thinking I had my first IB exam on Tuesday. In reality, I have over a week before they start. help!

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 05:25:20 GMT

I got into college.
Stephens College: Columbia, MO

I don't think it has sunk in yet, but my parents are floating around the house giving me hugs. Think they were worried? Anyway, I got one, maybe a couple of scholarships and soon I get to think about dorm rooms. No, it really hasn't sunk in yet...

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:17:07 GMT

I'd like to give a big 'Fuck You' to the person who is making me redo 6 hours of work before tomorrow. Love ya.

edit: I would also like the thank the furnace for going out. awesome.

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 17:08:56 GMT

could german not be so hard?

so far it takes me one hour to write 100 words and that is barely a minute of speaking.

kill me?

edit: someone make me more tea..

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 20:52:18 GMT

To be elligible for academic all-state you need a 30 on your ACT or a 1350 on your SAT.
I have a 29 and a 13-fucking-40.

Adam said it best: God hates me.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 03:28:13 GMT

this is the first time i have cried over stretch in a little while. usually i just force myself to think of something else, but i still miss my baby. i wish he could come back.

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 04:55:57 GMT

who else is pumped for harry potter??

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 04:45:21 GMT

i bet this was adam in the womb..

I adopted a cute lil' batman fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 22:21:39 GMT

i cant even sleep because i can't stop coughing. but that might be for the best since every time i stop doing things to think i go back over the crash in my head and its scares me. i'm not really sure how i am going to get to school tomorrow, maybe i'll dig my bike out of the basement. the fucker who hit me wasnt carrying insurance so i'm not really sure what's going to happen next.

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 23:34:55 GMT

I have been coming down with a cold all week, so i go home early thursday and stay home friday because I am supposed to go out of town over the weekend and I want to be well. I was going to go and see one of my heroes speak in Missouri while touring a college. So I end up cancelling all my halloween party weekend plans to go. Then yesterday afternoon I get in a car accident. A semi changes lane into me on I-44, I do a 180 turn, get caught between the semi and the concrete barrier and when I finally stop screaming and the car comes to a halt I am in the other lane facing oncoming traffic. My beautiful car is dead, not that I really feel like driving it anyway. But because of all this, my parents don't want to take the trip to Missouri and I have no Halloween costume, though even if I did I am probably too sick to wear it anywhere. Thus, I am left with an empty weekend and no means of improving it, and I find that very depressing.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 21:40:45 GMT

I wish I was creative enough and talented enough to be an art major, because IB is not for me. It never fails to make me feel stupid. I finally get an A in math and I manage to fuck up english and EE. I'm not sure how you fuck up EE but apparently we have grades in there now? So my car has gone away again until I decide to turn in all my missing crap. Gay.
And yet I feel less motivated than ever..any suggestions?

Eric and I are putting together our halloween costumes but I won't even be able to go to charity ball or anything because I am going to Missouri again. How can Mulder bust scary aliens without Scully??

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 00:32:40 GMT

ive missed a lot of school this week...will i ever catch up? probably not in time for grades...
Missouri was fun, and i love Stephens. yay IB credit!

kaelyn is the best ever <3

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 05:00:10 GMT

happy birthday to me!

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 02:25:13 GMT

i got 5 1/2 hours of sleep last night
ive been at the stables since 4:00 this afternoon
i had a horrible lesson
the blisters on my hand hurt like a son of a bitch
a bug flew into my eye
i have 5 hours of homework ahead of me
and i'm getting a migrane

DON'T FUCK WITH ME.